Potty Training Doesn’t Have to Be Hard
Potty training is often described as a stressful milestone: pick a weekend, take away the diapers, expect accidents, and hope your child figures it out.
It doesn’t have to be that way.
As both a pediatrician and a parent, I learned that using the toilet can be approached much more simply—as a skill children gradually become familiar with, much like sitting at the table for meals or brushing their teeth before bed.
How I Started Thinking Differently About Potty Training
When my first daughter was a baby, I belonged to a local mothers’ group. One day, a friend from Eastern Europe mentioned that she had started sitting her 6-month-old daughter on a small potty a few times a day.
There was no pressure and no expectation that her baby would suddenly be “potty trained.” Sometimes she peed in the potty, sometimes she didn’t.
My friend explained that this was common where she grew up. Rather than waiting for a particular age and then beginning an intensive potty-training process, families simply introduced the toilet early and let children become comfortable with it over time.
I decided to try it.
When my daughter was about 9 months old, I sat her on a little potty and explained that she could pee or poop there. Nothing happened the first time.
We tried again after a meal—and she peed.
We were both delighted.
From then on, we occasionally practiced sitting on the potty at predictable times: after meals, after waking from sleep, or when I could tell that she was getting ready to have a bowel movement.
Sometimes something happened. Sometimes nothing happened.
That was fine.
The Goal Was Practice, Not Performance
I wasn’t expecting my baby to tell me when she needed to use the bathroom. She wasn’t developmentally ready for that.
Instead, I was helping her become familiar with:
sitting comfortably on the potty
recognizing that pee and poop belong in the toilet
having bowel movements without fear or pressure
developing a predictable bathroom routine
Over time, sitting on the potty simply became part of everyday life.
Eventually we transitioned to a child-sized seat over the regular toilet. Her childcare teachers helped by offering regular bathroom opportunities there as well.
There were no prizes for being the first child out of diapers and no battles when she didn’t want to go.
When she was consistently staying dry during the day, we introduced underwear. Nighttime diapers continued much longer, until she was naturally staying dry overnight.
I used a similar approach with my second child.
Why This Matters for Constipation
Potty training and constipation are often closely connected.
Some children begin holding their stool because they are afraid of the toilet, have experienced a painful bowel movement, don’t want to interrupt play, or feel pressured to poop.
Unfortunately, withholding can create a cycle:
Holding stool → harder or larger bowel movements → pain → more fear of pooping → more holding.
Once that cycle begins, potty training can become much harder.
This is why I encourage families to think about healthy toileting habits—not simply getting a child out of diapers.
Building Healthy Toilet Habits
For many children, it helps to make sitting on the toilet predictable and low-pressure.
Good opportunities include sitting for a few minutes after meals, when the body’s natural gastrocolic reflex makes a bowel movement more likely.
Children should also be physically comfortable. Their feet should be supported on the floor or a stool rather than dangling, particularly when they are trying to have a bowel movement.
Just as important, try to keep stools soft and easy to pass. A painful or hard bowel movement can quickly create fear of pooping and lead to stool withholding.
Most importantly, avoid turning poop into a battle. If a child is frightened, withholding stool, or passing painful or hard stools, address the constipation first rather than pushing harder on potty training.
There Is No Perfect Age
Every child is different.
You don’t need to start sitting your baby on a potty at 6 or 9 months, and there is no prize for having the youngest child in underwear.
The lesson I took from my own experience was different:
Potty training does not have to begin suddenly.
Children can gradually learn what the toilet is, practice sitting on it, and develop comfortable bathroom routines without pressure.
For some families, that process starts quite early. For others, it starts later.
The goal is not early potty training.
The goal is a child who feels comfortable listening to their body and using the bathroom without fear.
When Potty Training and Constipation Become Difficult
Sometimes families do everything reasonably and still get stuck.
Consider getting additional help if your child:
regularly holds in stool
has painful or very large bowel movements
goes several days without stooling
hides or becomes visibly tense when they need to poop
refuses to poop in the toilet
will only poop in a diaper
repeatedly develops stool accidents or smearing
was previously toilet trained and begins having difficulties
has turned potty training into a daily source of stress for the family
These problems are extremely common, and they are often much easier to address once you understand what is driving the behavior.
At Haus Health, we help families develop practical, individualized plans for constipation, stool withholding, toilet refusal, and challenging potty training. Our approach combines pediatric medical guidance with nutrition, routines, behavior change, and lifestyle strategies.
[Learn more about our Constipation & Potty Training consultations →https://haus.health/pediatric-digestive-health]
